First, When you hear a bell, arrive where you should be. Do not ignore bell and finish up last email because the WiFi worked. If you choose to ignore the first bell, the second bell will be rung for your benefit and you will arrive to the welcoming (and hungry faces) of the brothers and other residents who were waiting on you to say grace and then eat.
Second, inside the house, shoes are not worn. It was suggested to bring slippers or warm socks. I would also add barre socks or those cool hospital socks with grippies on them would be smart, though the socks that say “If you can read this bring me a glass of wine” might not be the correct socks... perhaps there is a whole untapped market for these socks.. monastic socks would say, “Be Prayerful” or “If you can read these I am at Emery House”
Third, When it begins to snow on a mid April day and you are from Florida, try to contain your excitement and do not run into the other room frantically pointing out the window like the flying monkeys from the wizard of Oz just flew by.... making the first person you run into break their silence. (Note, I did not break my silence first, he did—- there is something wrong about my joy in that point).... first person I saw said (out loud) “Oh my God, SNOW!”
In a monastery you are in silence, it’s beautiful. They also have a 24 hour coffee station with homemade cookies. They are delicious. So while you can quietly listen to God, the demon is in the cookies and coffee! Or the cookies and coffee are all day Eucharist.... lovely, I like the second better (can you tell I have already been partaking in the all day Eucharistic snacks?)
In a monastery you are in community and the only major spoken conversations are in the form of said prayers. It’s delightful. The Psalms are said more slowly than I have said them in a long time and you truly HEAR the words of the psalmist. The hymns are sung without accompaniment and also more sung more slowly and words hang in the air....giving each verse the beauty with which it was written and delightful poetry to savor.
Being In community without spoken words means I know the names of the people here but not who is named which name. We pray for the group by name but being the only female here I have no idea who is Bob (there are 2 apparently) and who is George and who is Dean...etc..... I have decided, like on Cutthroat Kitchen, they are all now named Bob. We also know no one’s story, where they have been or when they are leaving. Yet it’s okay. The gift of silence is we are all here and not that one is more talkative than the other. We celebrated Eucharist together and I looked around- you don’t know who is ordained, who is not, who is liberal or conservative, who is retired and who is working, we all are there praying and singing together, receiving gratefully and equally.
I just finished a book called “A Bigger Table”- it has four goal values for churches: Hospitality, Authenticity, Diversity and Agenda Free relationships. It reminded me of the gift of hospitality of the spaces I have stayed in recently.
Here the hospitality is in providing a safe space to be fed in heart mind and soul. The Brothers provide meals, cookies and coffee, and prayers. They meet each person where they are and they pray for them before they arrive, while they are here and when they depart. While I know they do other things in the meanwhile, the gift of their peaceful demeanor welcomes each traveler right where they are as they come through the door.
In January of this year I had the blessing of being in worship at Grace Cathedral in Charleston, SC, their hospitality was amazing. As a guest in liturgy, with the other participants in that liturgy, we walked through the service so that everyone was acquainted with the space and the liturgical dance of which we were about to partake. The host greeted each of us with warmth and welcome and answered all of our questions with patience and repeated things as needed. It was a true grace and welcome when they could have said to us, “This is our church, you will do as we say”— such joy and grace and welcome allowed all of us to be who we were called to be in liturgy and fully flourish.
How often do we get distracted by the next item that we forget to be present with the people we are with, to hear them fully, to welcome them where they are and let them bloom and be recognized for who they are? How often are we comfortable with silence in community?
